Up To No Good
by Maybe the Moon
Summary: Costume Ball, Marauders style. Written for merrysmutmas 2006. Slash.


"Padfoot, that costume is ridiculous."

Sirius tilted his tricorn hat up from his eyes and looked at James. "You're just jealous 'cause no one's going to be lifting up YOUR skirts," he said. He kept his voice soft and offered a flutter of one hand just under James's red, rubber nose, and giggled. James scowled.

"I'm just saying," said James, reaching up and fondling one of his antlers with one hand and poking Sirius in the chest with the other, "that you're going to get yourself hexed if you go out like that."

"I'd like to see them try." Sirius preened in front of the mirror, which made a disapproving noise. "Anyone who tries to lay me out is going to get their arse handed to them."

James sniffed. "Or violated," he said. "Don't forget, I know you." He shoved Sirius out of the way and peered at his own reflection. Sirius gave him a sidelong glance.

"Wouldn't you _like_ to know me," he murmured, and snickered when James went immediately purple in the face. "Oh, relax. Your virtue is safe from the likes of me. I'm no redhead with tits out to here- Hey!"

They were still wrestling when Lily poked her head in and made the same noise as the mirror. "Honestly," she said. "You two can't stop fussing with each other for a second. I'm beginning to think I ought to be jealous."

James perked up. "Are you?"

"No."

"Oh." James slumped, sulky.

Sirius sat up and gave him a wet, noisy kiss on the cheek before scrambling to his feet. "Don't worry, Prongs," he said. "I still think you're sexy." He crossed the room with an exaggerated swagger, readjusting his hat on his head and pulling Lily into the room, curling an arm around her waist, mindful of her wings and halo. "And so're you, Flamebrain." He kissed her cheek as well.

Lily laughed. "You're in a good mood," she said to Sirius. "Did someone slip something into your kibble?"

"Impolite," said Sirius with a sniff. "No, I just have a feeling I am going to get lucky tonight. Got a feeling in me gut." He patted his belly and Lily giggled.

James made a rude noise. "That's not where you get your feelings," he muttered, getting to his feet and pulling Sirius off of Lily. "Come on, or we'll be late."

Sirius took up his plastic cutlass. "Avast!" he said, in a rather terrible brogue. "And remember, me buckos - pillage BEFORE you burn!"

"Bloody pirate," James grumbled, as they left the flat.

--

The costume ball had been Dumbledore's idea of a pleasant celebration in spite of dark times. A recent victory over the Death Eaters had been all the excuse he needed to turn the Great Hall into a ballroom for one night during Christmas hols, inviting most of the Order as well as other former students.

In the end it was more of a reunion than a party, and almost immediately after they arrived Lily and James were swept up by friends and old acquaintances. Sirius, who had no need for small talk or silly fussing, was left to his own devices.

From the moment he'd received his invitation he knew he'd dress up as a pirate. Sirius loved pirates. In third year Remus had given him a book about a pirate called Blackbeard, and Sirius had become so swept up in the plot that he'd insisted on being called Blackbeard for a week, until James pointed out that Sirius was still a good five years off growing any actual hair on his chin.

Six years later and still beardless, Sirius managed to cut an impressive figure as a dodgy-looking pirate with long, matted hair, dark eyes and a weathered tricorn hat. He strode about the ballroom, filching drinks out of people's hands, meeting their protests with a smile and an apologetic "Pirate!" before sashaying away to his next victim.

At half-eleven he nicked a goblet carelessly left on a side table, and before he could lift it to his lips he felt something rather sharp poking him in the back. He froze, goblet in midair, and half-turned to see what was afoot - and nearly dropped the glass.

The man wore a blue breeches tucked into black boots and a rather dashing white shirt, as well as a tabard bearing a white cross. On his head was a black hat with a plush and brilliantly blue feather, and beneath that was a mask obscuring the man's face.

Sirius licked his lips. He liked what he saw.

"Well," said Sirius, turning the rest of the way around and wearing a sly smirk. "I take it this is yours, mate?" He lifted the goblet as if in a toast and drank it in one swallow. "Was yours, that is."

The stranger poked him in the stomach with the longsword.

Sirius merely chuckled. "I'd offer to buy you another, but it's an open bar." He put down the goblet and ran one finger along the blade. It wasn't sharp, but Sirius felt a little thrill nonetheless. "Am I to understand that I'm being taken prisoner?" he asked in a low voice.

"Commandeered," said the stranger. "You're being commandeered."

"Oho, I know that voice!" Sirius laughed and knocked the sword aside with his hand, stepping up and tugging the mask away. "Moony, you dog."

Remus sheathed his sword and grinned. "Had you there for a minute, didn't I!" he said, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. "You said you'd know who I was straight away and you didn't. Pay up." He held out his hand and wiggled his fingers expectantly.

Sirius feigned a whine but dug into the pockets of his trousers, pulling out a couple of Galleons and slapping them into Remus's hand. "There you go, you mangy flea circus, and may you never have a day's luck with them."

He smiled however, and left his hand in Remus's a moment longer than necessary.

"You had me fooled though, Moony," he said, _sotto voce_. "I didn't know it was you. I thought it was some handsome stranger."

Remus smiled sheepishly. "Sorry to disappoint."

"Who said I'm disappointed?" Sirius squeezed Remus's hand. "You look brilliant."

"Oh." The prettiest sort of blush bloomed across Remus's cheeks and he ducked his head. "Well, it's just something I threw together. I couldn't think of anything else."

Sirius grinned. "I like the hat," he said.

"Thanks!" said Remus. "Thanks, I made it."

"I'd like to see it on my floor," Sirius deadpanned.

For a moment Remus said nothing and the look on his face was one of bewilderment, and Sirius experienced a rare moment of doubt until Remus burst out laughing and shook his head.

"_Honestly_, Padfoot," said Remus. "Does that ever work on anyone?"

Sirius chuckled, more out of relief than amusement. "No," he said. "So perhaps you might be the first?"

Remus eyed him. "What're you on about?" he asked. "You can't be- You're not actually chatting me up, are you? Padfoot?"

"I believe I am," said Sirius, ignoring another little wave of doubt. "You look really good, Lupin. But then, I've always thought you were rather fit."

"...Padfoot," said Remus, suddenly serious. "Don't tease."

Sirius took Remus's hand again and tugged him closer. "I'm not teasing," he murmured. "You want to get out of here?"

Remus swallowed audibly. "Where- Where do you want to go?" he asked nervously.

"Moony," Sirius said incredulously. "We're in Hogwarts. Who knows this castle better than we do?" He squeezed Remus's hand. "I'm certain we can find somewhere to be alone."

There was a quiet moment where neither said anything. Remus looked lost in thought and Sirius wondered idly if he'd just made an enormous mistake. This wasn't just anybody, this was Moony, and it suddenly occurred to him that if they did this, if they left this party together and found somewhere to be alone, and did the things Sirius could not stop thinking about, it would change everything. Everything. It ought to have frightened him but for some reason it didn't, it merely filled him with a sense of thrill he hadn't felt in a long time - since, perhaps, the first time he'd transformed into Padfoot. Him, and Moony. It would only be brilliant, so long as Remus agreed to it.

He _had_ to agree to it.

Sirius gripped Remus's hand tightly. "Well? Moony?"

Remus inhaled deeply and stood up a little straighter. "Room of Requirement?" he asked, in an odd voice Sirius had never heard him use before, low and hoarse. Sirius beamed.

"Let's go," he said, pulling Remus through the ballroom and out the door, toward the stairs.

--

"You're squeezing my hand too hard."

"I'm not!"

"You'll break my fingers!"

"I'll break your thumbs too, if you keep this up."

"Quiet!" Sirius pulled Remus against the wall and listened. "Thought I heard footsteps."

Remus looked at him. "Are you mad?" he asked. "We're out of school. Filch can't do anything to us if we're caught."

Sirius gave him a withering look. "No adventure in your soul at all," he muttered, and tugged Remus's hand. "Come on, then. It's just here."

Together they crept into the corridor and stared at the blank stretch of wall. "Walk three times past it, right?" Remus asked. "It's been so long I don't know if I remember."

"Aye," said Sirius. "Three times, think real hard about what you want the room to look like." In his mind's eye he pictured something posh, richly-decorated, but it reminded him a bit too much of the parlour at his parents' house. That won't do, he thought. Not for Moony. Moony likes things simple. Got to keep it simple.

They began to walk, and Sirius's mind went blank. He couldn't concentrate, not with Remus holding tightly to his hand, walking beside him, breathing. He glanced at Remus and found him staring back, with a lopsided little smile of pure nervousness on his lips. Sirius stared back and gulped.

He couldn't wait any longer. He pulled Remus to a stop, backed him up to the wall, and kissed him. He licked at Remus's mouth until those lips parted and he was inside, tasting and stroking his tongue across Remus's. It was, for want of a better, less poncey term,_divine._

"Mmm..." Remus made a delightful little noise, and Sirius felt the tension drain from his body. Moony was loose and pliant, and it didn't take much for him to slip a leg between Remus's thighs. He was rewarded with a small gasp.

Sirius grinned against Remus's mouth.

"Y'like that?" he breathed.

Remus grunted. "Y-yes," he said hoarsely. "But- But we ought- The room, Padfoot..."

"Ah, yes. The room." Sirius pulled away reluctantly, licking his lips and admiring Remus's soft, pink ones. "Have we walked three times?"

"No."

"Then let's get to it." Sirius took Remus's hand once again and pulled him away from the wall. They paced, somewhat unsteadily, until the door appeared. Remus tugged him to a stop and pointed.

"It's there," he said, in the same tone of awe he'd always had for it back when they were schoolboys. Sirius found himself touched, and not just in the usual naughty places. He grinned and reached for the door's handle.

"Let's see what it's got for us," he said, pulling it open. They shuffled inside and stopped. They stared.

The room was no bigger than Sirius's own flat, and that wasn't where the similarities ended. He was certain he recognised the overstuffed and slightly lopsided armchair he and James had rescued from a jumble sale several months ago. And the rug bore a stain quite similar to the one on Sirius's own floor, put there by Remus after he'd had a bit too much to drink at Peter's birthday dinner. But there were some things that were different.

"Moony?" Sirius asked. "Isn't that your sofa, there?"

Remus nodded. "It is," he said. "Er. Those are mine, also. Just there." He pointed at a set of rickety shelves straining under the weight of dozens of old, musty books. "How did they get here?"

"Dunno." Sirius went to sit on the sofa, bouncing a little to test it out. It was indeed real, and very much like Remus's old, well-worn sofa that had been handed down to him from a great-aunt or someone. The springs still dug into Sirius's back, just as they did at Remus's flat. "Isn't that queer?"

"Quite." Remus sat down beside him. "Did you ask for this?"

"No. You?"

"Not exactly." Remus's ears turned a delicate shell-pink. "I asked for something comfortable and familiar."

Sirius smiled. "So did I. It gave us our homes."

"Only together." Remus ducked his head, but Sirius could still see a crooked, wolfish grin. "I think the Room is being snotty."

"Or it's just trying to help us get it right," said Sirius, reaching for Remus and tilting his face up so that their eyes meet. "It's not exactly romantic, but I think it'll do nicely."

Remus giggled. "Actually, if you think about it, it's terribly romantic."

Sirius did think about it, and he agreed. So, he pulled Remus closer and kissed him once again, licking open his mouth and sighing at the wet slide of Remus's tongue against his. He moved and tugged until he was stretched out on the sofa with Remus above him, and he reached for the buttons of Remus's flouncy shirt.

"Who're you supposed to be, anyway?" he gasped, arching up as Remus's lips made their way across his jaw and down to his throat.

"d'Artagnan," said Remus, mouthing the hollow at the base of Sirius's throat. "Not that you'd know who he was."

Sirius snorted. "One of those musketeer types, yeah?" He grinned at Remus's look of surprise. "I used to steal your books and read 'em to see why they always got all your attention." His fingers worked at Remus's buttons until the shirt fell open and he could reach in for the skin beneath. "You like adventure."

He trailed his fingertips over Remus's belly, up through the coarse hair on his chest. "And- And romance," said Remus breathlessly, knocking Sirius's tricorn hat from his head. "And- And pirates."

"Yarr." Sirius pushed the shirt off Remus's shoulders. He found a constellation of freckles on Remus's collarbone, and sat up just enough to lick at them. "A pirate I be."

Remus growled softly, busying himself with Sirius's shirt which was already - conveniently - open halfway. "Perhaps," he said, "but I'd rather you be naked, now."

Slowly, awkwardly, they managed to pull off each other's costumes, leaving boots and scabbards and Remus's feathered hat strewn across the floor. When they were naked Sirius pushed Remus away enough to be able to look him over, fingertips grazing old scars and new ones, though not as many as he might have imagined.

"Freckles," he murmured, poking at the ones on Remus's belly. "You've got freckles all over you."

"That tickles," said Remus, wriggling against Sirius's touch. "Mum's Irish, of course I've got freckles."

Sirius grinned. "I like 'em," he said. He looked at Remus. "They're sexy."

Remus made a face. "You're touched in the head," he said, but there was no real malice to it. Sirius reached up and drew him down, shifting to let Remus straddle him. It brought their cocks into contact for the first time and the sensation made Sirius whinge and Remus hiss.

"Gonna fuck you," said Remus, and Sirius gasped and grinned. He knew it was probably only the fifth time Remus had ever said the word "fuck" in his life, and it gave him a little thrill to be on the receiving end.

"Yeah?" said Sirius, biting his lip and tasting blood as Remus ground against him. "You- You better get to it, 'cause what you're doin' is gonna end this before it's even got to start."

Remus swallowed. "Right. Er." He looked around, with a perplexed expression. "Do you think there's- We need, um."

Sirius sighed. "Lube," he supplied. "And I should hope the Room would- Aha!" He wormed his way out from under Remus long enough to swipe a jar off the coffee table. "Look at that. Just the thing."

"Did you- Did you ask for that?"

"No, it was always there, I think." Sirius smiled. "We just didn't know we wanted it, yet."

He opened the jar and passed it to Remus. "Get to it, then," he said with a smile.

Remus took the jar and looked at it, dipping his fingers into the substance inside and sniffing at them before moving to push Sirius's legs apart, settling himself between them. He set his eyes on Sirius's cock, hard and leaving a slick trail through the coarse hair at the base of his belly.

Sirius swallowed somewhat nervously. "Moony?"

"Sorry," said Remus. "Just- Just looking." He reached for Sirius's cock with his slick hand, curling his fingers around it and stroking once, twice. Sirius gasped, arched and groaned.

"Bloody- Moony!" He clawed at the sofa cushions. "Don't- Don't tease! Just get on with it!"

With a smirk Sirius had never seen before on Remus's face, the hand left his cock and dipped back into the jar again. Sirius tensed slightly as cold fingers tickled down between his legs to the underside of his cock, then further back.

"Nng." He grunted as Remus slowly poked one finger inside him. "Oh."

"All right?" Remus looked at him curiously, licking his lips. Sirius nodded.

"All right," he said. "Keep going." He wriggled with anticipation, making a soft sound as a second finger joined the first. Remus moved gently, and when Sirius looked up at him he found himself being watched by the most intent pair of brown eyes. It felt like Remus could see straight down through him, right to where their bodies joined. It was the only way Sirius thought he could know how to crook his fingers just so, to make his body go stiff and his toes curl and a noise like a howl bubble up from his throat.

"Moony..." Sirius keened. "Please- Please-"

Remus teased him a bit more with an almost infuriating smirk before withdrawing his fingers. He bent down and kissed Sirius briefly, licking at his mouth, then reached once more for the jar. He coated his palm liberally and brought it to his own cock, wincing slightly at the touch.

Sirius watched breathlessly.

"Relax," said Remus softly. He shifted, lifting and parting Sirius's legs a bit more. He pressed the tip of his cock against Sirius's entrance, and breathed out slow, then pushed in.

It hurt, of course, but it wasn't anything Sirius hadn't endured before. He reached for and gripped Remus's forearms, biting his lip as Remus pushed further in, inch by inch. The only sounds in the room were their tandem breathing and the slick sounds of their bodies coming together.

Sirius felt it when Remus was fully inside, when Remus's arms began to shake from the effort of keeping still. When he finally began to move the pain went thin, dissolving into pleasure as Remus slowly fucked him. The sofa creaked beneath them, sweat dripped from Remus's brow. Sirius lifted his legs and wrapped them around Remus's middle, his head thrown back and his mouth open, breath coming in little gasps.

"Moony," he whinged. "Moony, Moony..."

"That's me," huffed Remus. "Why- Why didn't we do this- Sooner?"

Sirius grinned crookedly, holding on for dear life. "Just stupid, I guess," he said, gasping. "Moony..."

Remus nodded, bearing down. "Yeah- Yeah-"

He fucked Sirius in earnest and Sirius reached between them, wrapping one clumsy hand around his own cock and pulling once, twice. Orgasm came out of nowhere and struck him like a particularly debilitating curse, touching every part of his body until his toes curled, so intense that he couldn't even cry out, his voice dead in his throat.

Remus kept going, moving frantically and growling, nearly snarling. Sirius lifted one weary hand to push at the damp hair at Remus's brow.

"Come on, Moony," he murmured. "Come on..."

Finally, Remus shuddered and shook, and made a long, low noise that was something close to a howl as he came. Sirius used what little energy he had left to clench around him, peering blearily up at Remus's contorted face. He smiled until Remus suddenly slumped forward and collapsed onto him.

Sirius pushed at him weakly. "Uff, Moony- Can't bloody breathe." He pawed at him until Remus moaned and rolled to one side, slipping out of him. Sirius shifted, ignoring muscles that protested, so that he could study the weary werewolf beside him.

"You're heavy," he said softly, tickling the spot between Remus's eyes with one fingernail. "And sweaty and sticky."

Remus stirred, opened one eye and focused it on him. "Your fault," he croaked. "I think you've killed me."

"Aw," said Sirius, with a pout. "Suppose that means you don't want to have another go? Not right now, of course, but... later?"

"Later?" Remus opened the other eye then and studied him. "How much later?" he asked.

Sirius licked his lips. "Tomorrow? And perhaps the day after that. And next week." He paused in thought. "And all of February. March, too."

"Padfoot..." Remus reached out and toyed with a bit of Sirius's danp hair. "That sounds like a long time."

"Yeah," said Sirius, closing his eyes and leaning into the touch the way a dog might when petted.

"It does."

Remus kissed him then, and distantly Sirius heard the Hogwarts bells tolling the midnight hour as the party guests sang 'Auld Lang Syne.' "Happy New Year, Moony," he mumbled against Remus's lips. Remus laughed, a huff of warm breath Sirius could taste.

"Happy New Year, Padfoot."

--

By the time they made it back to the Great Hall, looking rumpled and wearing each other's hats, the party was winding down and only a scant few were still dancing. Sirius scanned the crowd until he spotted a familiar pair of antlers and dragged Remus over to them.

"So, Prongs," said Sirius, winking at Lily. "Get to play any reindeer games tonight?"

James scowled at them. "Where have you BEEN?" he demanded. "We were supposed to prank Snivellus and I couldn't find you two! And there he goes!" He pointed across the Hall at Severus Snape, who was lurking in the shadows with another Slytherin, looking as though he'd rather be at a proctologist's exam with a fellow called Dr Hook. "Unpranked!"

"James." Lily patted his shoulder. "Even toerags deserve a holiday from torment. Don't tell me you didn't have your own sort of fun without Black and Lupin?" She winked, and James went red. Sirius laughed.

"Fair play to you, Flamebrain." He reached up and prodded Lily halo, now slightly crooked. "Sure you've not got a pair of horns under there?"

Lily batted at him. "Get away, you." She eyed the both of them, and Remus ducked his head.

Sirius nudged him, and Lily laughed. "Well, well, well."

"Well what?" asked James. He looked at Lily, then Sirius, then Remus, then back at Lily. "What what?"

"Nothing," said Remus, ears going red. He tugged Sirius's tricorn hat down over them. "Nothing, Prongs."

"You dog," said Lily, jabbing Sirius in the chest. She stepped close and hissed into his ear. "Hurt him, and I will end you."

Sirius swallowed hard. "Understood." He smiled at her. "But I won't. Marauder's Honour." He put a hand over his heart. "Besides, he'd end me first, and you'd have to figure out a way to bring me back to life in order to end me again."

"Could be fun," said Lily slyly, but she softened and smiled.

"WHAT are you all TALKING about?!" demanded James. He frowned at Remus and Sirius. "Did you two get up to no good without me?"

Sirius laughed and glanced at Remus. "What do you think, Moony?" he asked. "Were we up to no good?"

"I believe so, Padfoot." Remus smiled. "We were definitely up to no good."

As James sputtered and Lily took his arm to lead him away, Remus leaned against Sirius, their hands entwined, and murmured into Sirius's ear.

"I solemnly swear," he said, and Sirius smiled.


End file.
